Jeffkillian.com
Untitled Document

Two new Comics and an Updated Shop
2008-07-10
Here are two new comics:


I also reorganized the shop so it is easier to buy shirts and clearer what the prices are.





Here are two comics
2008-07-08
Let me show you them





Katamari Zen Point
2008-07-06
New comic today. Check back tomorrow for another one.




Drawings to the extreme
2008-07-05
I am going to keep posting some drawings for the next couple of days so keep checking back if you want to see them. Keep checking the drawings page if you want to see them.




Comment System Failure
2008-06-12

Since my last post I have done a fair amount of things. I have:

Gone down state for track in the 4 x 8
Been accepted to Wash U
Graduated from High School
Been named an all conference track superstar
Performed for the last time at pillows
Finished Wuthering Heights, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, and Cell
Celebrated my dad's 50th birthday and my brother's 21st
Showed a video to a crowd of 180
Put up a poster of Winston Churchill
Gotten very, very sick (and still am.)
Drawn lots of drawings.(When I get the chance I will upload the drawings.)

Do you see that little part in the top banner where it says (Now Tangible)? Well that same place on the drawings page has text that rotates in and out. I am asking you to email me with ideas for what you would like it to say. Really anything goes so long as it doesn't break the dress code (hardy har.)

So about the new comment system that I was going to install. I realized that with the amount of posts that I have, it would be impossible to monitor all of the comments. I thought that I had disabled all of the comments (and was going to leave them disabled until I felt it was fully functional), but I guess there was one that wasn't disabled, and as a result there are 30 or so viagra adds. If you can read html, why not take a look for yourself. Because of this I decided to get rid of commenting altogether.





Archives Updated
2008-04-30
I updated the archives so they are now completely new and awesome. That means that all of the way back to January is now completely indexed and ready for your viewing pleasure. The monthly viewing is now at the top of the archive page which not only makes it less awkward, but easier to find. The drawings pages have been recently getting a fair amount of views, so I played around with the code on that page to make it load faster. I have much more to say, but I am afraid it will have to wait until next time.



Feb. 13 Update
2008-02-12
Sorry for the lack of updates, it's about time there is a fresh new one. I have no excuse for not updating, other than I become extremely comfortable (due to the bamboo chair) whenever I sit at the computer desk and I never want to actually do anything on the computer, I just want to sit in the chair in a sort of unproductive trance. I have been productive in the past week and a half, just not in any important fashion. I started playing scrabble, and have yet to lose a game (knock on wood). I had never played Scrabble until this week. There won't be any updates this FOUR DAY WEEKEND because I will be out of town.

Another thing that I have taken up is attempting to do 1000 push-ups, 1000 sit-ups, run 50003038 miles, bike 28304 miles, and swim 2.5 miles. So far all I have done is 1000 push-ups and sit-ups, and I have to be completed in roughly ten days. The running looks like the hardest part.

I've been reading like crazy, and that has taken a lot of my time. I am trying to finish a library book before I have to return it. Mariokart is also responsible for an equally large amount of time in my life. As far as making movies, Aaron and I (and some new people!) are going to start making a movie next weekend. This movie will be at least 5 times better than any other movie we have made, for now we will have a cameraman, as well as other faces to introduce. You should keep checking back for more on that movie. If you don't we will smite you.

P.S. To those of you who have tried to call my cell phone only to get no response, my cell phone snapped in half. You can see what it looks like here. As I was writing this post, I realized that my cell phone (or that chunk of electronics on the left side of that picture) is fully functional sans-display; I just have to put it on speakerphone. Furthermore, each time somebody calls, it becomes a guessing game!



MUNUC
2008-02-04
I haven't updated in a while because I have been busy with homework and the Model United Nations at the University of Chicago.

To switch things up a bit I decided to move my normal desk chair and replace it with my bamboo framed chair (mine does not look nearly as ugly as the one pictured). Now I can lean back and relax with my keyboard on my lap. I still am looking for a convenient place to put my mouse though.

I am being bombarded with emails for ad pages for the yearbook, and responding to them is taking up a lot of my time. Through all of this, hopefully I will find time to make new drawings.



Be Forever Remembered
2008-01-26
New Drawing. You will probably have to scroll down to see it all.
It is Titled: Forever Remembered at Starbucks Last Saturday




January 23rd Update
2008-01-23
The normal drawing routine is still going, and I have two comics that need to be scanned in and uploaded. I tend to make updates when I am bored (which is usually when I don't have a lot going on in my life). Because this week is the beginning of a new semester, I have a new class, Psychology, and am getting accustomed to the workload and the teacher. So far (1 day) it is going pretty well.

This Friday I am going to go to PILLOWS and perform some things that I practiced yesterday with a friend. We always say that we are going to do things but then for some reason or another they fall through and we only end up doing one or two songs/skits instead of the four or five we had planned. I'll tell you how that turned out in a later post. Hopefully I will have time to go out and buy an e-string for my acoustic guitar, or else I will have to take my dad's guitar. That is not to say there is anything wrong with my dad's guitar, it's just my guitar is easier to play. The next morning after PILLOWS I have a Model United Nations preparation program from early in the morning until about 3. I did it last year, and we basically practice public speaking and whatnot.

Random Afterthought: Guessing should never be required when trying to complete a Sudoku. Guessing requires little skill, and it turns the Sudoku into a game of chance.



Normal Drawing Routine
2008-01-20
Now that the scanner is fixed the drawings will continue to be posted randomly throughout the week.

I had a few ideas for that drawing, and finally settled on the one you see. I was going to do something with a "double-functioning mobius strip" (a piece of paper) but decided against it.



Scanner Fixed
2008-01-18
I fixed the scanner just now and loaded up a new drawing. Check it out at the drawings page.




Scanner is broken
2008-01-16

I had the drawing on the scanner glass and had pushed scan, when the display read "No Connection to Computer." As soon as I can figure out the scanning problem, I will correct it and then upload the drawings that are remaining in the "queue." I have a four day weekend coming up and will get right to fixing the scanner when that comes. I also have finals tomorrow. Cripes.

There was a spelling error in my last post. See if you can find it.
I am going to be in a play on Friday and Saturday. You should probably come and see it.

I found a physics simulation game online, here. I enjoy making seesaws with it.

# I found these images of somebody who, as far as I can tell, has the a skill that nobody will ever need, except to make these photographs.

 

So like I said, when the weekend comes, I will fix the scanner and upload more drawings. Hold it in until then.





Updato Staccato
2008-01-13
Hey. There has been a lack of updates in the past five days. I have no excuse*. However, the good news is that I have some drawings that are almost completed and will soon be put up. But, as you can clearly see, there is no drawing today. Sorry. Check back in a couple days, there should be one up by then.

*Actually I do have an excuse. I was introduced to a game called Dolphin Olympics 2 and I have been playing it over and over again. It's one of those games were the points have exponential growth, and I can't seem to stay away from it. My highest score as of this post is about 162 million, and I can't get any higher yet, although the top players have gotten over 2 billion points.

I've finished another book, Obasan, since I last posted. It was sort of good but it dragged on a little bit towards the end. I am glad that I can move on.





New Comic: Productivity
2008-01-08
I entered myself into the MMC Contest NO. 23: "Sumwhat Sodoku" yesterday, so hopefully I will win. I faxed the answer in, but I have some doubt as to whether or not the fax was actually received. Seeing as you are most likely procrastinating right now, I drew a comic dealing with procrastination:

I was going to make it facebook or something, but not everyone uses facebook.



Dressy-Casual Update
2008-01-06
As you can see I have been playing around with the table widths for the site and hopefully it is better now. You shouldn't have to side scroll in order to read all of the updates.

Winter break is coming to a close tonight, and this signifies that I will be going back to school tomorrow morning.

On the bright side, I have been making a lot of drawings in my new sketchbook, and hopefully they will go to the site sometime. I should have a new drawing up either on Monday or Tuesday. I've got a drawing in front of me that I should be finished up with soon.

Steps to making a drawing
Step 1:Come up with an idea
Step 2:Find out some way to portray that idea on part of a very thin, white tree
Step 3:Draw the idea using pencil
Step 4:Retrace using pen
Step 5:Scan to computer
Step 6:Resize/Photoshop all dirty marks out
Step 7:Post online!

And that is how I do it. The hardest part is resizing and taking out all those dirty little graphite smudges.
EDIT: Sorry that the site looked funny for the past couple hours. I couldn't change it for some reason, but figured out the problem and now it is resolved.



The hands with which I draw
2008-01-04
Break is coming to a close which is dissapointing.
New drawings will keep coming at random times throughout days, so be prepared for that.

This is one of those times. Click the image to expand. I am still working on the php comments system, and am having some trouble. If you know some php and would like to help, feel free to email me.

I draw with my right hand, which is the same hand I write with. However, I throw a baseball with my left hand. Strangely enough, I went bowling today and got a better score bowling with my left hand than I did my right (I always bowl righty). I can kick with the same strength with both feet, so I really have no way to find out which hand is my dominant hand. I am pretty sure it is my right hand, but then again I have not tried many activites using my left hand. I'm like a very confused ambidextrous person.
# The December Archives are now up.



Washing your hands
2008-01-02
New Drawing:

Many of my ideas for drawings come from real life situations, and the difference between you and me is that I just draw them. However, I tend to end up with way more ideas than I need so I try to write them down on a special "jokes that I might need later" page in my drawing book. The problem with this is that I continually forget about that page.

In other news I started late one night and finished even later the next night Fight Club by Chuck Palahniunuhununik. I bought that book more than a year ago, and decided to get my $13.98 worth. Another book that I finished was my 198 page drawing book. I started it I think Christmas of 2001, and finished it January 2008. I have moved on to a new grey sketch book.

I beat the system three years ago by making my New Year's Resolution be "no more New Year's Resolutions," and haven't looked back since. Traffic has picked up because of the drawings, so here's a propostion that I'm willing to make: You send more people here, I send more drawings out.



Happy New Year -almost-
2007-12-31
So I haven't posted a text post in a while, sorry about that.  I have been very busy making drawings and getting things completed for all sorts of people.  ALL of the buttons in the store are properly functioniung, and buying a shirt has never been easier.  As I have been putting up more drawings, more people have been coming to the website.  Thousands are coming each day, which is pretty cool considering I don't advertise very much...that means either word of mouth or links from social bookmarking sites..either way, if you're here, welcome!

On account of the recent interest in drawings, I decided to completely redo the drawings page, and am quite pleased with the result. Below each picture is a link to the page so you can send it to your friends (please do). Also, many websites get mad if you hotlink to their images, but I have no problem wth it. The more traffic, the better. Steal my bandwidth. Mmy mouse officially broke and I am using a mouse from my dad's laptop. I am going out later today to go and buy a super mouse (does anybody know if I can find a mouse with a volume control?)

I'll keep making the drawings as long as you keep checking for them. Happy New Year!





New Year Comic
2007-12-30
New Comic Today




Mouse Temporarily Fixed and a Drawing
2007-12-28
Thanks to those who emailed me about my mouse problem (and to the person who responded, "How about you buy a new mouse, genius?") I stuck a rubber band, doubled-over, under the mouse button so it would bounce back up after I push it down, and that seems to be working as a temporary solution until I am able to find a new mouse. All orders for December were shipped a couple weeks back, which gave me some more time to get back to drawing.

P.S. Email me with a drawing idea if you have any. I'll try to think of something.



New Comic Today
2007-12-27
Be sure to bookmark the site, and check back tomorrow for a brand new drawing, or if you can't wait till then, you can browse the entire comic archives.

Click to enlarge.

Also, if anybody has any suggestions on how to make a mouse button less sticky, it would be greatly appreciated if you would drop me an email; currently my mouse click failure rate is at about 50%, which makes using the interweb central pretty frustrating.



Thought Process Flowchart
2007-12-26
Here is a drawing. I drew it with a fancy pen.




Merry Christmas!
2007-12-25
Merry Christmas!




Super Mario Galaxy
2007-12-23


I've had that picture open in a tab in my browser for almost a week, reminding me to post it. I've been hooked on Super Mario Galaxy for Wii for the past week or so. It is exactly like Mario 64 for Nintendo 64, except with a little less logic and a little more twirling. Still, it is definitely worth the buy, although the multiplayer is disappointing. In multiplayer, the second player seems to have very little control, and it is basically more like single player mode, but with an extra star thing moving around the screen.

I finished some last minute Christmas shopping today, and so now I can finally relax and do what I want to do...

...which is make a movie. Aaron should be coming over in about 45 minutes, and when he leaves, there will be gold in the form of a tape in my camera. Be sure to keep that in the back of your minds.

I've been drawing more, and next update will contain one of my creations.
Every Christmas time I always get an urge to sit by 93.9 and record just how many times each Christmas song is played. If anybody wants to perform the experiment for me, I'd gladly buy you food for a week (I can make that promise seeing as nobody will take me up on it.) Christmas time changes the playable song list length from about 5,382,057,209,880 songs to 17.

That's all for this time. Merry Christmas.





Atmosphere - The Woman with the Tattooed Hands Acoustic Guitar Tab and Chords
2007-12-21

The Woman with the Tattooed Hands - Atmosphere - Guitar Chords and Tab

Here's a video of it.


Standard Tuning
The chords also translate nicely to the piano.

C#m - 446654
E* - 079900
A - 5776xx
E - 77999x
B - 799877
B* -799800

The tab is a little more complex but sounds a lot better than the simple chord progression
Tabbed out:

Verse:
E|---4---4---x---x---4---0---0---0----0----x---x-----------5---x-------x---7---0---7--
B|---5---5---x---x---5---0---0---0----0----x---x-----------5---9-------9---7---0---7--
G|---6---6---x---x---6---9---9---11---13---6---6-----------6---9-------9---8---8---8--
D|---6---6---x---x---6---9---9---9----9----7---7-----------7---9-------9---9---9---9--
A|---4---4---x---x---4---7---7---7----7----7---7-----------7---7-------7---9---9---9--
E|---4---4---x---x---4---0---0---0----x----5---5---5---5---5---7---7---7---7---7---7--

Chorus
E|---4---4---5---5---x---x---7---7---
B|---5---5---5---5---9---9---7---7---
G|---6---6---6---6---9---9---8---8---
D|---6---6---7---7---9---9---9---9---
A|---4---4---7---7---7---7---9---9---
E|---4---4---5---5---7---7---7---7---

-or-

If you want it in straight chord progressions

The verse goes like this:
C#m E* A E B

And the chorus goes like this:
C#m A E B


Have fun.





Maggianos
2007-12-19

I had a pretty cool birthday. Turned 18. Pretty cool indeed.

The server was down for a couple days, which was a little frustrating but now it is fixed. There was a surge of visitors because of the Truth about Santa post. I've been meaning to post a video of our train going around the tree, but haven't gotten around to it. Instead, I give you the video below.



Seeing as it's Christmas time I figure that I should hit you up with a Christmas game that might just get you and your family addicted. Take an attempt at beating my highscore. I am pretty sure that my score is the highest score ever in the recorded history of the internet, as displayed by Google. Christmas will give the site a little break, but there will be updates before and after, just not necessarily on Christmas day.

We have about a month's worth of Maggianos angel hair pasta and meatballs currently at our house. I have been eating it for breakfast and dinner (really) for the past 6 days.

I've been working on some drawings, and when I finalize them they will be loaded up onto the interwebs.





The Truth About Santa
2007-12-16
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.



The Itsy Bitsy Spider
2007-12-12
oiuyuyygfgfvcvcxxzxsaq12223454tgthjkkkl;lkjlkjioll;;j';][;'

Above is the result of succeeding in killing a spider on my keyboard. Its permanent home now resides below the "L" key.

if you're really clever you can trace the path of the spider until its final moment...



Sale End
2007-12-10
That's it! The sale in the shop is officially over. If you got your order completed before now, nice job, you will receive your merch by December 20th. If you somehow missed the sale, you can still buy shirts, just at a slightly higher price :( However, for the next couple of days the credit card/online option of the store will be unavailable while I update the pricing from paypal and process all of the orders. I will leave up the option of paying by cash or check in case you feel the sudden desire to buy a shirt or two.

Because you are the constantly busy person that you are, you probably skimmed the last post, and stopped reading entirely after the first paragraph. If that is the case, then you missed this:

Tight Shorts
In the first three days it was viewed by 150 people, and the number is rising. Why not take a look for yourself and press the play button? Youtube compressed the quality, but you can find a much finer quality video on the podcast, and you can even watch it in full screen HD. Amazing!

#This gallery of National Geographic pictures is pretty cool. My favorite is the dragonfly.





Dustin Hoffman was in it....-and- Tom Thumb
2007-12-09
Me talking out loud in front of my parents...

Oh man, what is the name of that play with the guy and his two sons?
*They look at me unsure...*
... the guy kills himself for the money...for his life insurance or something...?
. ... he is a salesman and in the end he dies.
*I look to them*

*They both stare at me blankly *

... Oh, Death of a Salesman....right...

We just went to Tom Thumb and got some train track, and we now have a working HO model train going around and around our Christmas tree. It's actually pretty cool if one is able to consider model trains cool.
#Obi Wan Buys a Used Car [video]
#The Most Elastic Man in the World [video]





New Video - Tight Shorts
2007-12-08
There are only two days left to order from the store and have guaranteed Christmas Delivery, as well as a huge discount!

The new video, entitled Tight Shorts, is officially released today. It was completed in just under a week- scripting, editing, and everything else. The unfortunate thing is that the quality of the video is extremely low due to Youtube compressing the video. You are able to get a much higher quality version if you subscribe to the podcast.

Someone brought to my attention that in this post I had mixed up the before and after picture. If you were confused by this too, then let me clarify by saying that the amount shown was how much space I had left on my hard drive.

So my North Face coat had some holes in it, and you can apparently send it back to get it repaired for free, which is what I did. I was hoping that it would get sent back quickly, but it did not, and now I am stuck wearing sweaters and a North Face outer shell for the next couple weeks. However, the bright side is that there is snow outside, which is always good around Christmas time. I refuse to celebrate Christmas if there is no snow on the ground.

This year my family decided to actually buy a Christmas tree. We usually just use a fake plastic tree and end up not having to clean up thousands of pine needles on December 26th. Hopefully we'll get to set up the actual tree today (right now it is setting in the garage) and then tomorrow we can decorate it.

I am getting closer to the ultimate goal of \getting a comment system working. If you see random posts with titles like "123," "testing," or anything that seems strange, you can be assured that at that very moment I am working on the comment system (in order to test the system I need to make a new test post.)





Cat:1.... Infant's Curiosity: -2
2007-12-05
Touché.
Click Here to View Image
Comment through email



So Much Space
2007-12-04
Update for Wednesday
We won our last dodgeball game so we are now in the final four. I completed the new video in terms of editing, but when I loaded it onto youtube the quality was horrible so I am messing around with different formats to see which will be the best quality.

December is here and so the November archives are up. Also, I don't like the feeling of being forced to update on a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I am going to get rid of that soon. There will still be the same amount of updates, just the times will be random.

I'd like to remind you that the sale in the shop is only through December 10th. Anything ordered after that date will be normal price and will not have guaranteed Christmas arrival, so hurry up and get your gear before time runs out. If you ordered a shirt in November, you will be glad to know that all November orders have been shipped out.

I've recently had a little time and decided to clean up my hard-drive a little. I found a program that was extremely helpful in doing so called Large Files. It automatically finds the largest files on your hard drive, arranges them in decreasing order, and gives a clickable path to these files.

 

So I was able to free up a lot of space and now the computer runs a lot faster.





Tunnel Baby
2007-12-02

Update for Monday
I think that we, the internet, should bring "The Robe" back. It has been forgotten. There was a time when a robe signified royalty, grandeur, success, power. Our society has turned it into something that has the same purpose as socks. They both keep you warm. My socks don't omit any power, except the power of stench. I can't go outside in only my socks to get the paper. I can't exude confidence by taking my socks off right before a boxing match and throwing them into a crowd. I am going to be on the cover of Fortune magazine one day, and I will sport a fuzzy white robe.

Great news! A new Dylan Kong movie will come out very soon! All of the scenes have been shot, and because this was a light weekend I managed to edit most of the movie. With a total run-time of slightly less than 8 minutes, it is the longest movie made yet! Want to see it before it's youtubed? It'll be loaded onto the podcast prior to any official release, so subscribe to the podcast for first dibs on viewing it.

As far as content goes, the video is a sort of culinary extravaganza/mockumentary, with many parts that even I don't understand, so don't feel down about yourself if you come to find that you are perplexed after watching...it happens to the best of us.

I threw in a little update over the weekend about the elf dancing because it could not wait until Monday. The comment system is advancing and hopefully soon I will be able to allow you guys to talk back to me on this very same page.

#Here. Watch this too. It's called tunnelbaby.
#And while you're at it, try these crazy-hard puzzles.





Elf Yourself at Elfyourself.com
2007-12-01
Tis the season for Christmas flash, and look what is in store for you! My mother brought to my attention a website by the name of elfyourself.com. Brought to you by Office Depot, Elf Yourself is a way to implant a picture of your head onto an elf's body and then watch with joy as the elf dances for your amusement! You can have up to four dancing elves at the same time, all with a different head. Once a presentation is made, you can send them to others. It's very simple, click here to see an example. Now go and make all of your family/friends look like fools.



 



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